Handstand Commandments Archive: Volume I

All our news from 2000!
Sign up to receive Handstand Commandments.

Date: Wed, 28 Feb 2001
To: guy@cherbourg.gov
From: Handstand Commando
Subject: Handstand Commandments, Vol. X

Like any self-respecting Somerville-based music collective, we receive electronic mail (or, as we understand it is called in hipper circles, "e-mail"). We thought we would take this opportunity to answer a few questions:

Q. "Dear Online Marketer,
How would you like to quit your job, become your own boss, and build up enough residual income to support yourself for the rest of your life?"
A. Thanks for the offer "Lynn & Pat," but luckily, we are members of highly-profitable music collective, and thus don't need to take you up on your offer.

Q."Do you want to lose 30 pounds in 30 days?"
A. Are you calling us fat?

Q. "WHERE IS THAT FREAKIN 20 BUCKS THAT YOU OWE ME????? YOU WON'T RETURN MY PHONE CALLS AND THIS IS THE SIXTH E-MAIL I'VE SENT YOU. I CAN'T SUPPORT YOUR PORN HABIT FOREVER."
A. Um, that seems to be all the time we have today. Keep that e-mail coming and make sure you check out the shows this month, most notably a great Scrapple bill TONIGHT!!!!
------------------------
CALENDAR:

**TONIGHT**
SCRAPPLE
VILLA VICTORIA
Wednesday, February 28
with Wolf Eyes, Neptune, 25 Suaves, and Jessica Rylan
85 West Newton St., South End, Boston, 8pm

**THIS FRIDAY**
THE OPERATORS
LINWOOD GRILLE
Friday, March 2
with Ruby Lashes, Ripley
69 Kilmarnock Street, Boston

SCRAPPLE Radio Drama
Live on WFMO, 91.5 fm, Medford
Wednesday, March 14, 9pm-12am
listen online!: http://www.wmfo.org

THE OPERATORS
FLYWHEEL, Easthampton, MA
Ladyfest benefit w/ the Branches, Gina Young, Soox, Jess Blay
Thursday, March 15, 8PM, all ages.
------------------------
RECORDINGS:
The Operators spankin' new split 7" with the wonderful Ruby Lashes is available on their web-site (http://www.the-operators.com). A mere $4.00 buys you a new song from each band.
------------------------
WEB-SITE:
We've made some changes to the web-site, including more (MORE!) dancing animals, the Handstand Commandment archives, and a work-in-progress look at the many embarrassing bands Command members have been in in the past. Look for more additions over the next few months.
------------------------
Coming soon:
The first ever SINKCHARMER tour!!! Dates up and down the east coast at the end of April!!!!
The Operators on TV!!!
Video footage of the Anchormen performing in a graveyard!

--

--------------------------------------
Handstand Command! Handstand Command! Handstand Command!
The Somerville, MA based music-collective featuring:
The Anchormen, The Operators, Scrapple, Sinkcharmer,
Jef Czekaj, The Tardy, Empty Glasses, The Shut-Ups, you.
email: handstandcommand@mail.com
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com
mp3s at http://www.mp3.com/stations/handstand_command

If you do not wish to receive further Handstand Commandments (sent approximately once per month), please let us know. Likewise, if you know of anyone who actually WOULD like to receive Handstand Commandments, send us his or her e-mail address. Thank you. You will go far in this world.

Our hearts are full of love. And thus, we here at Handstand Command, the Somerville-based music collective, have planned some special events this month to help you and your dearest celebrate Valentine's Day. Did we say love? We meant whiskey.

The Tardy have decided that they are a "real" band and therefore will stop constantly reminding you that they are an indie rock duo consisting of Jef from the Anchormen and Steph from the Operators. Well, maybe one more time. They have decided to commemorate Valentine's Day a week early, THIS WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 7TH at Lilli's, on a great bill with Mishima, Thalia Zedek, several other wonderful bands, and the ever present baton-twirler, Dominica K. Don't be tardy (doors at 8); The Tardy go on first!

The Operators are celebrating both Valentine's Day (right on time!) AND the release of their new split 7" with Ruby Lashes, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14th at the Skybar. Everyone in attendance will receive a FREE ($0.00) copy of the record! The record is printed on beautiful white vinyl, features the Operators "What the Mailman Doesn't Bring" on one side and Ruby Lashes' "Lavender and Lace" on the other. Come on, cheapskate, what better way to impress your date than an evening of dour-pop plus a free gift?

CALENDAR:

THE TARDY
LILLI'S
Truth Serum presents: The Tardy w/ Mishima, Thalia Zedek,
Robert Fisher and Friends (members of Willard Grant Conspiracy), Freeda Rome
Wednesday, February 7th, Tardy go on at 9PM!!
608 Somerville Ave, Somerville, 591-1661, Doors @8pm, $7 cover, 21+

THE OPERATORS
SKYBAR
with Ruby Lashes (free 7" to all attendees)
Valentine's Day, Wednesday, February 14, 2001
518 Somerville Ave., Somerville
9pm, 21+

THE TARDY
SKYBAR
Tuesday, February 20, 2001
with XYgoatZ and Dizzy (ex-MOON PATROL)
518 Somerville Ave., Somerville
9pm, 21+

THE OPERATORS
LINWOOD GRILLE
Friday, March 2, 2001
with Ruby Lashes, Ripley
69 Kilmarnock Street, Boston
(this show is part of an Operators mini-tour with Seattle-based band, Ripley. Check out the Ops web-site for all the additional gig info!)

UPCOMING:
Ladyfest East featuring Scrapple, The Operators, and a kazillion other great bands!
An Anchormen split 7" with New Jersey pop-punksters, The Ergs!
A Scrapple radio drama!
Sinkcharmer on a Weird Paul tribute album!

Perhaps we should just be friends,
The Handstand Command

PS Once again, thanks to everyone who helped us with our recent shows with Sarah Dougher. All of the shows were a great success, lots of fun, and we couldn't have done them without you.
--
................................................................
czekaj. box 440422. somerville, ma 02144.
jef@highwaterbooks.com. http://www.sinkcharmer.com/jef

Happy New Year from the music collective with but one New Year's Resolution:
To Rock Your World.

Of course, by "rock your world" we mean play our silly little music in half-empty clubs on weeknights for little-to-no money or beer. Sigh. But enough negativity! It's a new year, goshdarnit! We love life! And you!

The big news, which I'm sure you've heard about since we won't stop chattering on and on about it, is a series of shows with Mr. Lady recording artist, Sarah Dougher. The Tardy are playing several shows with her this week in central Massaschusetts and Western New York, and then next week The Operators play two shows with Ms. Dougher in town. Uh, incidentally, The Tardy are looking for someplace to stay in Northampton on Thursday night. E-mail us with any leads.

CALENDAR:

SARAH DOUGHER and THE TARDY (forward this to your friends in central MA, western NY!)
Thurs. Jan. 18 @ Flywheel, Easthampton MA (w/ ROBIN MACEWAN & CHRIS SCANLON)
Fri. Jan. 19 @ Incognito, Binghamton NY (w/ NOT WITHOUT MY HANDBAG)
Sat. Jan. 20 @ Collegetown Bagels, Ithaca NY

SARAH DOUGHER and THE OPERATORS
Fri. Jan. 26, 5PM @ Simmons College, Boston MA (as part of the Anonymous Girls Showcase with The Kitty Kill, Laurel the Baton Twirler, and many others. All Ages!)
Sat. Jan. 27 @ Abbey Lounge, Somerville MA (with MISHIMA)

Check the Handstand Command web-site for all the details (http://handstandcommand.tripod.com).

Speaking of web-sites, The Operators have souped-up theirs, adding more photos, video, and e-commerce! Quelle moderne. (http://www.the-operators.com).

Several Handstand Command acts appear on Hellbound, a newly-released Kim Deal tribute CD. The Operators contribute their version of the Breeders's "Doe" and Empty Glasses (an Amps cover band, duh!) stumble in with a beer and whiskey soaked rendition of "Tipp City." Kim would be proud. Get the scoop at the Ops' web-site.

And I guess we can spill the beans: The legendary Sinkcharmer is hard at work on his new album which features contributions by many of the Command. Look for a release later this year.

COMING IN FEBRUARY:
A very special Operators Valentine's Day show at the Sky Bar with Ruby Lashes. Doorprize for all comers: a lovely and FREE Ops/RL split 7."

A Tardy show with Mishima, Thalia Zedek, members of Lambchop and the Willard Grant Conspiracy, and more.

A rumored Anchormen show near a pinball arcade!

AND FINALLY:
There's been a lot of talk about "Ginger," an invention that will change all of our lives. Firstly, they must have written one HELL of a press release (call us!). Second, we hate to spoil the fun, but the Handstand Command staff P.I. has discovered the patent application for "Ginger." Check it out here: http://handstandcommand.tripod.com/ginger.html

--

--------------------------------------
Handstand Command! Handstand Command! Handstand Command!
The Anchormen, The Operators, Scrapple, Sinkcharmer,
Jef Czekaj, The Tardy, Empty Glasses, The Shut-Ups, you.
email: handstandcommand@mail.com
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com
mp3s at http://www.mp3.com/stations/handstand_command

If you do not wish to receive further Handstand Commandments, please let us know. Likewise, if you know of anyone who actually WOULD like to receive Handstand Commandments, send us his or her e-mail address. Thank you. You will go far in this world.

Good day. Are you on a plane to Seattle as you read this? No! Why the heck not? The only reason you shouldn't be is if you already live there. If not, you're in peril of missing Handstand Command's very own The Operators at:

THE ROCKRGRL MUSIC CONFERENCE
Friday, November 3rd (Ops go on at 8:30 pm)
Bad Juju Lounge, 1518 11th Ave., Seattle, WA
Can't make it? The least you can do is tell all your rich Seattle friends to go shower them with money and affection. Or at least applaud politely after each song.

All right, closer to Somerville, check out:

THE OPERATORS (semi-unplugged) and JEF CZEKAJ in:
THE HANDSTAND COMMAND ACOUSTIC-ISH SPECTACULAR at
T.T. the Bear's Place
Monday, November 13th
with Seana Carmody (Swirlies, Syrup), and Steve Lawrence (Car Models Blue)
10 Brookline St., Cambridge, MA, (617) 492-2327, 9PM, $3, 18+

THE OPERATORS
Sky Bar
Wednesday, November 29th
with Ruby Lashes, Center of the Earth
518 Somerville Ave., Somerville (617) 623-5223, 9pm, 21+

NEW GOODS:

JEF CZEKAJ: TEARFAST CD. Chintzy LP or generous EP? You decide.
An acoustic guitar, a cheesy casio keyboard, a handful of samples (Smiths, Pixies, Galaxie 500, etc.), and a really crappy summer add up to seven "cheerfully pissy" songs, twenty-seven minutes of indie folk.

SCRAPPLE: THE LIGHT-UP EP.
A studio version of Scrapple's crowd-pleaser "light-up alien pussy" is finally available on MP3, along with 5 other new songs recorded earlier this year. Hear a crisp, hi fidelity account of Geisslah's lurid abduction by metaphysical genitalia. The "Light-Up EP" also includes "Shesus (Ain't Got No Penis)" and a live dirge version of Prince's 1999. It can all be had for $7.99 by visiting http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/69/scrappple.html

THE OPERATORS new t-shirts are in! Sporting a lovely drawing of a somber cat (known around Handstand Command HQ as "Goth Garfield") by Ms. Jennifer Godfrey. Orange and yellow on lovely blueish-grey all-cotton tees.

Oh yeah, and remember The Anchormen? Good. You can buy merchandise directly from their website now.

And speaking of which, Mr. Czekaj has a nearly semi-functional website. Check out the work-in-progress at: http://sinkcharmer.com/jef

ta-da! ta-ta.
--

--------------------------------------
Handstand Command! Handstand Command! Handstand Command!
The Anchormen, The Operators, Scrapple, Sinkcharmer,
Jef Czekaj, Empty Glasses, The Shut-Ups, you.
email: handstandcommand@mail.com
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com
mp3s at http://www.mp3.com/stations/handstand_command

If you do not wish to receive further Handstand Commandments, please let us know. Likewise, if you know of anyone who actually WOULD like to receive Handstand Commandments, send us his or her e-mail address. Thank you. You will go far in this world.

We at Handstand Command have recently made a startling discovery: some of you actually have jobs, school, families, EVEN social lives outside of standing in crowded, smoky, deafening bars, downing overpriced drinks and shouting insults back and forth in between songs by the latest crappy band at one-thirty in the morning. This confuses us. But hey, we at The Command are nothing if not Good Listeners.

So, in an egalitarian effort to bring our music to the hoi polloi, we've lined up a couple of nontraditional performances in nontraditional venues that won't cost you a dime to enjoy. You're going to have to think up some new excuses to eschew the HC:

For pete's sake, you don't even have to leave your house!!!!:
THIS WEDNESDAY, Oct. 4
THE OPERATORS
Live on WMFO 91.5FM!
On The Town, 9pm-Midnight (Ops go on at 10)
Listen online at: http://www.wmfo.org

Nice and early. Come for the free coffee, stay for the foxy sales staff:
THIS SATURDAY, Oct. 7, 4PM
THE ANCHORMEN performing a special in-store show at Handstand Command's
favorite record store,
HI-FI RECORDS, 620 Centre St., Jamaica Plain, MA.
For directions or more info, call: 617.524.4495 or check out:
http://www.hi-firecords.com

And for those of you who like the lung cancer and tinnitus, we are still, as
they say, "keeping it real":

THE OPERATORS with a Rod Stewart impersonator! And others
at the GREEN ROOM, Providence, RI
Friday, October 13th
free show!

SCRAPPLE with Pelvic Circus
at Jacques', 79 Broadway, Boston, MA
Saturday, October 14th

RECORDINGS:
The Anks and the Ops are still pushing their new releases ("Punk Rock is Awesome" and "I Accuse the..." respectively). Buy them on-line, or better yet, at Hi-Fi Records. Request them on your local station.

Sinkcharmer and Jef Czekaj have got some fancy new MP3's for you to enjoy:
http://mp3.com/sinkcharmer (or check out the real audio versions at: http://sinkcharmer.com/home.html)
http://mp3.com/jef

And here's a hint of what's upcoming in November:
THE OPERATORS have been invited to perform at the ROCKRGRL Music Conference,
Seattle, WA.
November 2-4, 2000, along with such rock luminaries as Kristin Hersh, Exene Cervenka, Bonfire Madigan, Bangs and a kazillion others.

Handstand Command Acoustic-ish Spectacular with: JEF CZEKAJ, THE OPERATORS,
Seana Carmody (Syrup, Swirlies), Steve Lawrence (Car Models Blue) T.T. the
Bear's Place, Cambridge, November 13, $3.

Until next month,
The Handstand Commando
--

--------------------------------------
Handstand Command! Handstand Command! Handstand Command!
The Anchormen, The Operators, Scrapple, Sinkcharmer,
Jef Czekaj, Empty Glasses, The Shut-Ups, you.
email: handstandcommand@mail.com
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com
mp3s at http://www.mp3.com/stations/handstand_command

If you do not wish to receive further Handstand Commandments, please let us know. Likewise, if you know of anyone who actually WOULD like to receive Handstand Commandments, send us his or her e-mail address. Thank you. You will go far in this world.

Please take a moment to peruse the o-fishul press release for the first ever Ops/Anks simultaneous gigging action. After you have done so, please then direct your internet browser to: http://handstandcommand.tripod.com/, where you will see a passel of swanky new graphics by HC artist Jeffrey Czekaj, and where you can listen to the lilting lo-fi sounds of the the Handstand Command supragroup, the Shut-Ups. Thank you for your time.

Love, Handstand Command.

********************************************************************** **********************

Sparks fly in Somerville!

The Operators and The Anchormen - together again for the first time.

Somerville, MA, Sept. 1, 2000

For the first time ever, The Operators and The Anchormen, labelmates,
roommates, drinking buddies, and founding members of the music collective
Handstand Command are on the same bill together, Sept. 19th at the Sky Bar
in their hometown of Somerville.

"I honestly can't believe that we HAVEN'T played together yet. It's about time!,"
declares Operators' bassist, Jen Godfrey.

The Operators have had a busy summer. They've toured. They've played with,
among others, Sarah Dougher, Bangs, Mr. Airplane Man, Prettypony. They've
released a 7" (I Accuse the Operators), and are preparing for their first West Coast appearance at the Rockrgrl 2000 conference in November.

The Anchormen...well, let's just say the Anchormen are "well-rested." After
a relaxing summer, they've just released their second album "Punk Rock is
Awesome," and are in the midst of playing a series of late-summer,
early-fall club dates.

While there's always been a fair amount of friendly competition between the
bands, this is the first time the Somerville bands will get a chance to
duke it out in public.

"I think it's great that we finally get to play with The Operators. And
while we maintain a healthy rivalry, both bands
have a tremendous amount of respect for the other's music,"
states Anchormen bassist, Chris Braiotta.

Operators guitarist/drummer Steph Melikian is less diplomatic. "Those
pantywaist Anchormen are going DOWN!!!"

For interviews, review copies, or more information about
the bands:
http://www.the-operators.com, http://www.anchormen.com,
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com
e-mail: handstandcommando@handstandcommand.tripod.com, phone: 617.628.2583,
or write Unstoppable Records, Box 44195, Somerville, MA 02144.

--

--------------------------------------
Handstand Command! Handstand Command! Handstand Command!
The Anchormen, The Operators, Scrapple, Sinkcharmer,
Jef Czekaj, Empty Glasses, The Shut-Ups, you.
email: handstandcommand@mail.com
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com/

If you do not wish to receive further Handstand Commandments, please let us know. Likewise, if you know of anyone who actually WOULD like to receive Handstand Commandments, send us his or her e-mail address. Thank you. You will go far in this world.

Ah, September in New England: Back to school, back to work, back to
self-loathing, back to rock---. Oh wait, almost forgot, we're
Handstand Command and we've never STOPPED rocking!
_____________________________
Gigs? Yup, we've got those:

THE ANCHORMEN CD Release!!!!
Abbey Lounge
THIS SATURDAY, September 2nd
with Dirt Bike Annie, The Ergs, The Proms (all Mutant Pop Records)
3 Beacon St., Somerville
9PM, 21+, $5.00

SCRAPPLE performing on the very last Orange Show
BU Theatre
Saturday, September 9th
on Comm Ave, next to In Your Ear records and near the old Paradise
8PM, $10.00

THE SHUT-UPS (Handstand Command Supra-Group featuring members of Ops&Anks)
Midway Cafe
Sunday, September 10th
opening for Pelvic Circus and Karate Cowgirl
3496 Washington Street, Jamaica Plain, MA 02130
(617) 524-9038
21+, $3.00, we probably go on around 9:00 or so.

THE OPERATORS, THE ANCHORMEN, Handstand Command Spectatular
Skybar
Tuesday, September 19th
with The Fleece
518 Somerville Ave., Somerville
(617) 623-5223
9pm, 21+
_____________________________
On-line Music? Uh-huh. In the spirit of Chuck D, we're riding MP3's
like "motherf**kin' cowboy[s]":

Over 35 MP3s by Handstand Command artists, many of them rare and unreleased:
http://mp3.com/stations/handstand_command.html

Plus, there are exclusive Real Audio files by Sinkcharmer and Jef
Czekaj on the Handstand Command site.
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com
_____________________________
Recorded Music? Yup.
The Anchormen have just released their second full-length CD, PUNK
ROCK IS AWESOME. Check out their web-site for the details and for a
chance to WIN A DATE with one or all of the Anchormen.
http://www.anchormen.com

The Operators have been promoting the heck out of their 7" I ACCUSE
THE OPERATORS. It's good. Buy it.
http://the-operators.com
_____________________________
Bonus? Bonus! While not an "official" Handstand Command event,
Somerville's own The Anchormen are featured in the following upcoming
photography show. Free cheese and crackers at the opening,
cheapskates!

"The Local Scene." Three Boston-based photographers, Charan
Devereaux, Janet Caliri, and Frank Moniewicz come together to
highlight some of the great bands and singer-songwriters in the
Boston area.
The Diesel CafÈ in the heart of Davis Square for the month of September.
Opening reception: Thursday, September 7, 6-8PM
_____________________________
Over and out.
--------------------------------------
Handstand Command! Handstand Command! Handstand Command!
The Anchormen, The Operators, Scrapple, Sinkcharmer,
Jef Czekaj, Empty Glasses, The Shut-Ups, you.
email: handstandcommand@mail.com
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com/

If you do not wish to receive further Handstand Commandments, please
let us know. Likewise, if you know of anyone who actually WOULD like
to receive Handstand Commandments, send us his or her e-mail address.
Thank you. You will go far in this world.

Patriots:

Sorry for the short notice, but there's a Handstand Command show that we
feel it is our duty to tell you about:

PahtyLine Productions is pleased to bring you another exciting installment
of SUBVERT POP MUSIC!

Friday, 7.7.00, at the glorious Midway, in JP. 9PM.
http://midwaycafe.com/

featuring:

local heroes:
CAR MODELS BLUE
local yokels:
TIPS FOURTEENS
anchormen side project:
THE SHUT UPS
freshly imported somerville pop:
THE OPERATORS

So, EVERYONE, knows who THE OPERATORS are. I do believe that this is their
7" release party (I ACCUSE THE... available now on Unstoppable Records).
Come celebrate your god-given right as an American to give the Operators
your money. USA! USA! USA!

THE SHUT-UPS are, this time around anyways, 50% Operators (Paul, Steph),
50% Anchormen (Jef, Chris), and guaranteed to be at least 74.239% rock (but
please remember that, even with the most careful attention and best
processing equipment available, impurities and debris may be present).

CAR MODELS BLUE is a Handstand Command fave. Elements of garage,
psychedelia, folk, rock, but come on, in a really, really good way! They
have a cello player for pete's sake!!! You DON'T want to miss them. Ever,
but specifically not this show.

TIPS FOURTEENS have a great name, and a really nice looking website
(http://tips14s.com ). "Tips Fourteens music is pop: some of it is rock,
some of
it is classic," or at least that's what their MP3 site says. Rock! Rock!
Rock!!!

See you there! Right? Right!

--------------------------------------
Handstand Command! Handstand Command! Handstand Command!
The Anchormen, The Operators, Scrapple, Sinkcharmer,
Jef Czekaj, Empty Glasses, The Shut-Ups, you.
email: handstandcommand@mail.com
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com/

If you do not wish to receive further Handstand Commandments, please let us
know. Likewise, if you know of anyone who actually WOULD like to receive
Handstand Commandments, send us his or her e-mail address. Thank you. You
will go far in this world.

Begin Transmission:

Always rocking. Never stopping.
Always rocking. Never stopping.
Always rocking. Never stopping.

Handstand Command, the Somerville-based music collective, would like to
report the following to you,the company stockholders:

At last, Handstand Command has its own Damn Yankees*: The Shut-Ups is the
Handstand Command "super-group", this time around featuring members of the
Anchormen (Jef), The Operators (Steph and Paul), and Sinkcharmer (uh, Paul
again). They'll be performing along with with Holden, Jonee Earthquake, and
TCR at the Fishtown Art Space (http://www.artspace.org), 1 Center St.
Gloucester, MA, this Saturday, June 24. They go on at 9PM.

*the hard-rockin' band featuring members of Styx, Night Ranger, and the
Nuge, duh!

The Operators have been kicking your butt, and you probably haven't even
noticed it. Since we last spoke, they've played with Sarah Dougher and
Bangs, performed in Pittsburgh with Tourister and Mathlete(a Wolfie side
project), been "spotlighted" at boston.com
(http://mp3.boston.com/spotlight/theoperators.shtml), and released a
loverly 7", I ACCUSE THE OPERATORS, (clear vinyl, design by Mr.Tom Devlin
of Highwater Books), all while you've been sitting at home watching
"Survivor." Check out their web-site for all the details, quickly, so you
can say you knew them "when."
http://www.the-operators.com

Jef Czekaj's CD, SONGS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND is FINALLY available.
Featuring gorgeous, elaborate CD design by Operator Emily Arkin, and cover
model Operator Steph Melikian, who cares what the music sounds like? Um, it
sounds good, OK? Jef was also recently interviewed in the Seattle Stranger
where he talks about the relationship between techno and chickens, his
comic, HYPERTRUCK, and, oh yeah, Handstand Command.
(http://www.thestranger.com/2000-06-01/music.html)

And ah yes, who can forget The Anchormen? Their new CD, these days being
referred to around the office as PUNK ROCK IS AWESOME, is finally mixed,
mastered, and in the process of being forged somewhere deep below the
surface of the earth. Heath Anchorman's been out of the country but we are
assured that he shall return in mere hours, and soon world domination will
be theirs. Or at least maybe a gig or two.
http://www.anchormen.com

Sexy, sexy Scrapple has entered the studio this past weekend to begin
crafting their new CD, which will be released simultaneously with a 12"
single, and will no doubt make the rest us blush.

Also, the fine men and women of Scrapple are planning on staging a cabaret
show in late August -- short plays, music, puppetry, dance, and other
assorted silliness. Interested writers and performers should contact
tom@anchormen.com.
http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/69/scrappple.html

Finally, both The Operators and Empty Glasses appear on a Kim
Deal/Amps/Breeders tribute thingamagigee. The Ops contribute their version
of "Doe" and Empty Glasses chime in with an appropriately raunchy version
of "Tipp City" (http://www.noaloha.com/breeders/tribute/submissions.htm).

Always rocking. Never stopping.
Always rocking. Never stopping.
Always rocking. Never stopping.

End transmission.

Happy May Day! Quit your job. Thank you.

So, we've got a lot to tell you about. We, of course, being the Handstand
Command, the Somerville-based music collective that can kick Elephant 6's
pasty butts at Boggle (both "Big" and traditional).

Here's what's going on:

Scrapple
KIRKLAND CAFE
Saturday, May 6th
with The Sugar Twins, Butterscott
425 Washington St., Somerville, MA. (617) 482-4920
(note this is part of the big "For the Benefit of Mr. Dee" week of shows
from May 3-7. Five days of shows throughout metro Boston that will honor
and raise money for local music champion, radio host, writer, and musician,
Mikey Dee. Dee, 37, was stricken February 7th with a brain stem stroke
(www.mikeydee.com for more info)).

The Operators
KIRKLAND CAFE
Garage Rock Revue
Friday, May 12th
425 Kirkland St. Somerville MA, (617) 491-9640
with Shakin' Spirits, Classic Ruins, Mickey Bliss Organ Combo
9PM, $5, 21+

****HANDSTAND COMMAND PRESENTS****
VFW Hall, Green St., Cambridge (next to the Green St. Grill in Central Square)
Friday, May 19
288 Green St # B, Cambridge, MA 02139 (617) 547-9320
Bangs (Kill Rock Stars), Sarah Dougher (Mr. Lady), The Operators (Unstoppable)
9pm, 21+, $6 at the door.
**********************************

Recordings:

The Anchormen just recorded a spankin' new album, tentatively titled
"Stephanie Calling." The ENTIRE thing is posted on their web site in both
fashionable MP3 and real audio formats:
http://www.anchormen.com/stephanie.html

The Operators have a single coming out real soon on Unstoppable records.
They've just done some recording at Bunker Hill Community College,
including a cover of the Breeders' "Doe" with Jef Anchorman Czekaj on
violin. They've got some new MP3's here:
http://www.mp3.com/artists/24/operators.html

Jef, too, has done some recording at Bunker Hill Community College, with
Jen, Paul, Emily, and Steph backing him (maybe they're called The Smock).
He's got the world's smallest mp3 site:
http://www.mp3.com/jef

Scrapple head into the studio as soon as Tom figures out how to use his
keyboard.

Sinkcharmer has probably recorded a new album since I've begun typing this
missive.

You can buy Handstand Command related stuff at the wonderful Hi-Fi Records,
620 Centre St, 524-4495. Free coffee!

Oh, and there's lots more in the works. Of course, it's all
double-top-secret now. You will be informed on a need-to-know basis.

--------------------------------------
Handstand Command! Handstand Command! Handstand Command!
The Anchormen, The Operators, Scrapple, Jef Czekaj, Sinkcharmer, Empty
Glasses, you.
email: handstandcommand@mail.com
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com/

If you do not wish to receive further Handstand Commandments, please let us
know. Likewise, if you know of anyone who actually WOULD like to receive
Handstand Commandments, send us his or her e-mail address. Thank you.
Please also note that we find you very attractive in a nontraditional way.

You've probably got some questions. We've got some answers. They may be unrelated.

1. Q: Why, oh why, am I receiving this?

A: You have received this email because you either signed up, wrote to one
of the Handstand Command bands (see list below), were added by a friend, or
We have a secret crush on you and this is our desperate, awkward attempt at
showing you we care. The Handstand Commandment should be a monthly affair,
though you may get additional e-mail from the individual bands. If you do
not wish to receive further Handstand Commandments, please email us at
handstandcommand@mail.com, with the subject header "You'll be hearing from
my lawyers shortly."

2. Q: What the heck is Handstand Command?

A: Handstand Command is a cartel of Somerville-based musicians that share,
amongst other things: bandmates, hangovers, bodily fluids, and a common, if
blurred, vision of "The Future of Rock." However, the individual executions
of aforementioned vision diverge significantly, from dour-pop (tm), to punk
rock, to indie folk, to, um, Scrapple.

Last time we checked, Handstand Command is: The Operators, The Anchormen,
Scrapple, Sinkcharmer, Jef Czekaj, and Empty Glasses (Amps tribute band).

3. Q: How can I improve my quality of living?

A: Please attend these March shows:

Thursday March 9th
The Operators (11PM)
Kirkland Cafe (425 Kirkland St. Somerville (617) 491-9640)
with Dr. Awkward, Big Red Andy Robinson
$5, 21+

Thursday, March 16
The Anchormen (11:50)
Sky Bar (518 Somerville, Ave, 623-5223) 21+
with the Mitchells, Verona Downs, Chromium

Saturday, March 18
Scrapple (9:30)
Sky Bar (518 Somerville, Ave, 623-5223) 21+

Sunday March 26th
Operators (11:30)
TT the Bears (10 Brookline St. Cambridge (617) 492-2327)
with Pavo, Bradford Ave, Walker
$4, 18+

Friday, March 31
The Anchormen
Kirkland Cafe (425 Kirkland St. Somerville (617) 491-9640)
with the Cowtippers and Lazyboy Rockers

April 1st
Scrapple
Midway Cafe (3496 Washington St., Jamaica Plain 524-9038)

4. Q: How can I hear the music of the Handstand Command bands without
leaving my home?

A: Recent and Upcoming Recordings:
Anchormen, "Boy Who Cried Love"(Unstoppable Records #308) out now, going
into the studio in March
Operators, "I Accuse the Operators," available real soonish
Jef Czekaj, "Songs About You and Your Boyfriend" available end of March
(Unstoppable Records #310)
Scrapple, "Not for Airplay" available now, with a new CD out soon.
Sinkcharmer, "Breaking the Slide Rule," available soonish (Unstoppable
Records #309)

5. Q: I am interested in stalking member(s) of the Handstand Command. Where
can I find more information about them?

A: The Command's website is quite rudimentary at this point, but go there
anyway, ok?
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com/

6. Q: How do I get blood stains off of my prom dress?

A: If stain is fresh, soak in cold water. Then wash. If stain is dry, soak
in warm water with detergent for at least 30 minutes (or overnight for best
results) and then wash. If stain persists, rewash using bleach safe for
fabric.

------------------------------
Handstand Command! Handstand Command! Handstand Command!
email: handstandcommand@mail.com
http://handstandcommand.tripod.com/

If you do not wish to receive further Handstand Commandments, please let us
know. Likewise, if you know of anyone who actually WOULD like to receive
Handstand Commandments, send us his or her e-mail address. Thank you.
Please also note that we find you very attractive in a nontraditional way.

Volume 2, Volume 3, Current Volume, Sign up for Handstand Commandments.